A no-tech, screen-free date night

Welcome to The Spark (by Hunter at Show Her Off Dance).

Every Thursday, I’m going to send you a quick, five-minute email with fun date night ideas, conversation starters, and resources to help strengthen your relationship.

My goal is to help you and your partner have more fun, feel more closely connected and create more meaningful memories together (just like with Date Night Dancing).

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Date Night

Let’s throw back to a no-tech, slower time. 

When couples would sit together in the evenings without a screen in front of them. 

A time for puzzles!  

Although, they did make a comeback during Covid lockdowns, so maybe y’all are experts by now. 

A Classic Night In 🧩

Pop on some music, grab a drink and put your minds together as a team. 

Some things to consider: 

• Choose the puzzle together based on a shared interest (eg. nature, pop culture, dogs/cats, places you’ve traveled to...)  

• Choose the size: for those who want a challenge and can see yourselves working on it over the course of a few days or a week, there are some nice 1000-piece puzzles. Otherwise, stick to a 500-piece puzzle or less.   

• If the puzzle has a visual you can related to food (ie. a gondola in Venice), you could pair it with an Italian dinner or wine.  

• Try asking the conversation starters I included at the top of the newsletter or see the Love Lab section below for how to make it an enriching evening. 

• Don’t feel pressured to finish! This isn’t about the finished product but about the conversations and time spent together without distractions. 

Budget: $15+ 

I hope you enjoy this one! 

The Love Lab

How well do you know your partner? 

I’m talking about things like how they spend their day (or how they’d like to spend it) and what they find most challenging.  

Relationship researcher Dr. John Gottman says these things make up a person’s “Love Map.” 

Love Maps are the internal world each of us has, which carry our dreams, hopes, failures and fears. 

Gottman has found that couples who are more intimately familiar with each other’s inner worlds are more able to weather the storms and conflicts in life together. 

Meaning, if you know your partner’s inner world, it’s harder for you to be thrown off course by changes or stress in the other’s life. 

How do you build Love Maps? 

The best way is to ask questions that reveal their inner world. 

Hey, that’s what those conversation starters at the beginning of the newsletter are for! 

Ask questions like: 

• What is your fondest unrealized dream? 

• What is one of your favorite ways to be soothed? 

• What is stressing you right now? 

The key is to keep collecting this info, updating it over time, and making room for it in your mind. 

This means remembering the major events in each other’s lives, asking about each other's goals and dreams, and talking openly about worries and fears. 

The Love Maps concept is part of a larger theory called the Sound Relationship House (pictured above) from Dr. John Gottman. 

The first “floor” of the house is to Build Love Maps. 

You could start by using the date night idea above to start asking questions that get to the heart of each other’s Love Map. 

Here’s to learning about what makes your partner tick!