Ideas to strengthen your relationship 401k

The Spark (by Hunter at Show Her Off Dance).

Connecting Conversations

Sometimes a great question is all you need to start a meaningful conversation :)

This weekend, try asking your significant other:

• What do you see me doing in the future that I’m not doing now?

• What’s something you worked really hard for, but didn’t end up getting? How do you feel about it now?

• Who inspires you to be a better person?

Your Relationship 401k

A question to noodle on this week is:

“How is my Relationship 401k doing?”

I’m sure you’re familiar with 401k as a retirement investment vehicle, which allows us to tap into the awesome power of compound interest which ‘is the eighth wonder of the world’ (per Albert Einstein).

But instead of money in this case, think about your key relationships and are you investing time in them, with intention? Investing enough so that ‘compound interest’ can work it’s magic?

These questions are not for triggering shame, but instead just a reality check of - am I operating with intention or just drifting through life here?

Per the 80/20 law I talked about a while back there are probably around 5-10 people in your life who contribute to 80%+ of your relationship joy / satisfaction in life.

Do you know who they are?

To keep it ABC simple let’s say you have 20 hours / month (5 a week) to spend as quality time investments. Are 16 of those hours going into your top 5-10 relationships? If not - you may want to shift your ‘spending’ (of time).

I’m assuming your partner falls in that category and so let’s say they get 8 hours, that’s 4 date nights a month, 2 hours each - very reasonable. We’re not counting just being around each other during day-to-day, but instead, intentionally invested quality time.

The remaining 8 should go into your other 4-9 80/20 relationships.

Some ideas I’ve found helpful for my relationship 401k:

• Monthly individual zoom meetings scheduled on calendar (with my brother, several friends who live in other states)

• Weekly zoom meeting with one of my best friends (also lives in another state)

• Dedicated gym session 1x week with another bestie who lives 90 minutes away

• Having a note or spreadsheet of 80/20 relationships I review and ask myself how can I show them appreciation, support or love?

I’m not saying you have to do any of those, these are all just ingredients for you to think about and consider what investment upgrades you want to make in your Relationship 401k spending.

I hope the compound interest of life accumulates in your favor :)

Thoughtful Text Idea

Time to gush a little on your love, letting them know how much better your life is with them in it. Send them the text starter below and feel free to modify to fit your voice:

For Him:

Since the time I've met you, I cry a little less, laugh a little harder, and smile all the more. I’m still giggling about [recent time when he made you laugh]. Because I have you, my life is a better place.

For Her:

You do a million little things that bring joy to my life. I’m still awestruck at how you get it all done. It really made me smile when [specific example of a little thing she did for you / family]. I love you.