A bucket list for two

Welcome to The Spark (by Hunter at Show Her Off Dance).

Every Thursday, I’m going to send you a quick, five-minute email with fun date night ideas, conversation starters, and resources to help strengthen your relationship.

My goal is to help you and your partner have more fun, feel more closely connected and create more meaningful memories together (just like with Date Night Dancing).

Don’t want to receive the email? You can unsubscribe by clicking here.

Date Night

We all have things we dream of doing but haven’t yet done ✨ 

For some, they’re big adventures that would take years of planning and saving for. 

For others, they’re simpler things that require more motivation than big finances. 

Why not start planning to make those dreams come true, with your partner? 

A Bucket List for Two 

Here are my tips for creating the best couple’s bucket list: 

• Start by thinking about your own bucket list: if nothing comes to mind right away, think about things you’ve enjoyed most in the past, what motivates you and what ignites your passion. 

• Then think about things you can do as a couple: have you ever said, “we should do XYZ together one day?” Write them down!  

• Get specific: instead of saying, “I want to get outdoors more,” how about “I want to abseil down a waterfall in South America” or “catch my first wave while learning to surf.” 

• Do any of your ideas overlap with each other’s? Can any be combined? Those are the ones to pursue first! 

• Set a deadline: originally, bucket lists were things to do before you died. But you can also choose “before I turn 50” or “by the end of the year.” 

You can organize your ideas into short and long term.  

How about starting with something short term and doable to get the ball rolling? 

Or maybe you’re both ready for a big adventure and want to prepare for a major undertaking.

Think about where you’re both at in your lives and choose one that fits. 

Now get planning!  

PS. If you’re struggling to come up with ideas, here are 1000+ to get you going 🙌

The Love Lab

I’ve written before about my belief that date nights are a lifestyle choice, like committing to working out 3 days a week 💪 

Here’s a similar concept: emotional fitness. 

This one’s about each person doing something in the emotional realm on a regular basis. 

Like a physical workout, it gets easier the more you do it. 

It’s about making small changes and practicing them daily.  

It means taking responsibility for your own moods and emotions, to better yourself AND the relationship. 

It’s a concept coined by psychotherapist Barton Goldsmith. 

In an example of what you can do, he says: “Instead of coming home with a bad case of the grumps, I advise you to get a grip on yourself.” 

Here’s how he advises doing that: 

• Try to understand how you’re feeling before walking in the front door or meeting up with your partner. That way if you decide to share what’s going on, it’s more coherent and less of an emotional “dump.” 

• Ask yourself if what you’re dealing with is a genuine problem or an annoyance. If it’s an annoyance, it’s helpful to identify it as such and easier to let it go. This doesn’t dismiss it, but it can lighten the load. 

• Practicing the above 2 things every day will help the relationship on an emotional level.  

Goldsmith writes more about it in this article and has 2 books on the topic: Emotional Fitness for Couples: 10 Minutes a Day to a Better Relationship and Emotional Fitness for Intimacy: Sweeten and Deepen Your Love in Only 10 Minutes a Day. 

What do you think about the concept of emotional fitness?